Consistent Proportion

elisya maranti

No effort made with genuine sincerity ever wastes. It takes time to show up – the result. But it appears always. Never make effort with the intent of some deliberate good, but by belief only. The belief that whenever the cause is genuine, its recognition shall be genuine as well. I try it often and am often taken aback by the surprise of its truth. It happened recently. In fact a bit too recently. The cause was human response and its results were equally human. Thank you Lord for instilling in me the reason of belief, for the assurance that genuine results on strong committed belief can be made possible. It happened today and I can now believe that it can happen regularly.

In life sometimes you wish that the voice of your conscience, be not spoken by you but by those that may perhaps be aware of it. Be spoken so that the sense of balance can be admitted and obtained. I would be lying if I were not to accept and acknowledge, that those that speak for you in glory and praise, give you ample reason to believe that that is what you had deserved. The most difficult part in life for me is to accept that. Many think that it is a false sense of deliberate pride that I exhibit. But that is far from the truth. I am genuinely unable to accommodate such compliment. Equally then I would be lying if I were not to admit that a non acknowledgement, or critical promulgations cause anguish. I am human and built by same human conditions as the others. But when one supersedes the other. When a sense of deliberate and wanton and ruthless innovation overtakes reality. When structured games get played. When an intent is larger than the cause, then that is disturbing. That is repulsive. That needs correction and control.

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Many are able to do it, most do not. I am in the category of the latter and am now resigned to the fact that it shall now never ever be rectified in my life. It has become part of my existence. You may have done the greatest of deeds, the finest of gestures, but a mind set cannot be changed overnight. In this particular case, mine to be more precise, it never will. And so we live, knowing that eventually we shall all perish, despite the effort being made by those elements that wish destruction, that the contrary should happen. And in their interpretation the contrary always remains constant and true.

Now being in a position where their opinion matters more than any other. Being in a position where the carriage of their view abets greater penetration and believability, it would be futile to argue with their standards. You take what ever comes your way smile over it and continue. It has been the most prudent way to behave. For, doing the contrary would involve us all in a battle of some consistent proportion and by the end of the day one wonders if it was really worth it. Worth bringing yourself down to a level that was demeaning and of a calibre that does not and has not belonged to you and never will.

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However, there is still remaining that pertinent question of correction, of fact of truth. Expressing it immediately, given the pre determined conditions of others towards you, would not be a good idea. Write it down then, store its details. The brain deteriorates fast and before long you begin to forget your own personal elements. I do that often and with that now I possess a very valuable library of my side of the story. Of facts and realities of those that question ours. Of habits and culture of those that worked with us for long. Colleagues, situations, incidents – my side of the balance always heavier by weight. They may never go out into the outside world, but the solace in knowing that they are there with you, is the bright point of life…

This then is what we must understand .. and without love it shall never be understood !!

Shikashi naniyori mo, tsuneni yuiitsu no karera no ai to aijō to sangyō-yō, sono sonzai ni mukete kōken shite kita to iu koto de, sorera no kenen ga hyōmei sa rete iru kono burogu ni sanbi no dai kazoku o motsu yō ni shukufuku sa rete imasu. Aishiteruyo...


Elisya Maranti